The burdens we bear
by Kira the cat
Summary: My name is Sam. That's what I keep telling myself. I have to. Tonight, I did something bad. DISCONTINUED DUE TO EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCES!
1. Chapter one

A/N: Okay, I just finished reading _Shiver_ and I absolutely fell in love with the book and had to do a fanfic. Please I hope this ends up good and you all love it.

Chapter one-Sam

My name is Sam. That's what I keep telling myself when I'm like this. I have to. I'm only thirteen and I feel like a thirty year old man. I'm not normal though, I'm not like other thirteen year old boys. I'm a werewolf, an unfortunate life placed on me by my adopted father, Beck. But, as much as I should hate him, I don't. I love him. Just like that girl I saved. I love her too. But not myself. I did something wrong tonight, something bad.

_45*F_

It's winter again, my most hated time of year. I roamed the woods, bored and itching for summer, when I heard crying. Not like a person, but like a baby or a small child. I followed the sound and the scent of milk to a small basket near the edge of the river. Icocked my head to the side and nudged the basket with my nose. I should have turned around and gotten Beck, but I didn't. I nuzzled at the small infant crying within the basket. Her wails made my ears hurt and she only screamed louder when I pulled a bit of the blanket away. Being the stupid teenager I was, I became frustrated fast and growled before biting into her tiny fist. By the time I realized what I had done, it was far too late. She had begun to change into a tiny helpless pup. She whimpered at me, begging for warmth and comfort from the bitter cold that surrounded us. Shocked at my own actions, I backed away from her, the brown mass of puppy fur still whimpering and crying. I had been too wrapped up in avoiding the pup that I didn't notice the second child, a little boy wrapped up in blankets, sitting beside a tree and wide-eyed in fear. Everything within me screamed run away, but I stayed frozen, until he began to run. Leaving the pup behind, I chased him down and tore into his left arm. Again I was too late to realize my mistake as now a slightly bigger pup sat in front of me, ears back, tail tucked between his legs, and sapphire blue eyes wide with fear. I mentally cursed, something I rarely did, and turned back for the other pup. I gently picked her up in my mouth and motioned for the other to follow. We headed away from Beck's house towards a small den I usually played in. Once safely inside, i set the pup down and tried to think clearly. I now had two defensless and completly unskilled pups on my hands. Beck would kill me if he found out what I had done or worse, Shelby would kill the pups. With her always vieing for mine or Beck's attention, a pair of pups would easily upset her and send her into a tizzy. After she sent Dario's dogs after Paul, I never fully forgave her for that either, I didn't want her anywhere near them. The two of them whimpered simultaneously, dragging me from my thoughts. Both had been a little scraggly looking when I found them and the girl had only been fed a small amount of milk which wasn't too reccent either. I had no choice but to find food for them. Going home was out of the question, Beck or Shelby would most defininantly catch wind of the pups; and if Paul found them, then I would be in even more trouble for going against the pack leader. I whimpered as well, more out of indecision than hunger. Then an idea came to me, humans would leave food outside for their pets. Leftover food was better than no food at all. And a couple houses had felines which drank milk. I grabbed the smaller pup and headed out when something sent shivers down my spine. I stepped back inside and set the pup down. Cold air whipped at my muzzle and I cursed mentally again as I noticed the snowstorm rolling in. I debated just leaving the two pups behind and finding the others and pretending all of this never happened, but part of me felt responsible for them. I looked out side, the snow wasnt falling heavily yet. I whistled through my nose and retrieved the two pups; I would just have to face the drama that awaited me.

Ki-chan says: I'm not too sure I like this chapter so much. I am kinda typing this as I go along. If anyone finds something wrong with it PLEASE tell me! Don't make me sit for three months and think i did a good job when i've got tons of mistakes. sorry ^^; got a lil bit carried away there....


	2. Chapter two

Chapter 2-Beck

I am a horrible monster. I ruined a child's life even though I saved him from the hell he was going through. I still cannot forgive myself. The saying like father like son effectively fit this scenario, no matter how wrong it may seem. I did this, I'm the reason Sam did what he did. I will never forgive myself, no matter what.

_39*f_

I was getting worried now, the snow was starting to fall faster and Sam wasn't back yet. I anxiously paced the snow covered ground, waiting to catch even the smallest whiff of him. My prayers were answered as well as my worst fear; Sam trotted into view, head low with a small brown animal in his mouth, and his tail tucked between his legs. Behind him wobbling on unsteady paws was a pup. He stopped about ten meters in front of me and set the pup down. It whined piteously and crawled towards him. Sam didn't look at me nor did he look at the pup. Instead he sat in silence, his gold eyes shamefully looking at the ground. I sighed and picked up the crying pup. I knew this day would come, Paul would blow his lid and i didn't even want to think about Shelby's reaction. Spring wouldn't arrive for at least another three months, and I doubted Paul and Shelby would cope with this for even that long. We met up with the others near the house. Paul was already outside with a surpizingly calm face. Shelby on the other hand was staring at the two pups with murderous intent. Paul met me halfway and took the female pup inside, keeping his eye on Shelby as he did. Sam and the older pup followed us. 'So, whose fault is this?' Shelby said smuggly as she looked at me. 'Shut up Shelby.' Paul snapped. She flinched and huffed before heading out into the snow. 'Paul, it was an accident, I swear.' Sam said. 'It's alright, I know you didn't mean it.' I sighed as he said that, that was one less problem for me to deal with. I was still a bit worried though, with no other females besides Shelby, who of course wanted no part in Sam's mistake, there was no one to feed the pups. My worries slightly eased a bit when Ulrik trotted in with Salem following behind him. 'What's got Shelby's tail in a knot?' Salem asked with a bit of a chuckle in his voice, as if he knew exactly what Shelby was upset about. 'Well would you take a look at this,' Ulrik chuckled. 'here's what's got Shelby all upset, two little pups.' I rolled my eyes, Shelby could be such a drama queen sometimes. 'Enough kidding around, we still have a problem.' Paul said, his voice more serious now. 'He's right,' I started. 'who's going to feed them? And keep an eye on Shelby?' Ulrik barked a laugh, as did Salem. 'Dont worry, we know a few wolves who can help. Salem and I ran into a small pack like us when we ran up north a few days ago. Their alpha just had pups.' Salem said. I pondered over the idea, while the pups were being cared for by the other pack, I could keep an eye on Shelby in case that blond head became filled with any ideas. 'That's a good idea. as long as Shelby doesn't know we should be able to get them up there.' I said. Paul nodded in agreement. 'Ulrik, you take Sam and run the pups up there; Salem, Beck, and I will keep Shelby at bay.' 'Okay, lets get ready before she gets back.' I said before standing watch outside. Hopefully, she wasnt up to anything.

A/n: kay, i know this is reaaalllly short, i have such a bad habit with that. T.T anyway, i forgot this in the first chapter so; Disclaimer: I don't own _Shiver_, wish i did but i'm broke so i'm just outta luck. Anyway, i'm hoping this is good and for those who don't think this is a bit slow you're probably right ^^; it'll get better i promise. untill then keep reading.


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